Learning to write. I was good at it when I was younger…much younger. But I think I might be able to relearn the skill. I think I need to. I want to help other survivors. There are so many ways I could do that, and I’m still figuring out that path.
I had a business lunch today with a woman who specializes in retirement life coaching, but also happens to be a marriage and family therapist. Over the course of conversation, Lisa was talking about an art teacher that showed her that art was something she could have a lot of potential in and how that inspired her to want to be an art teacher. The therapist then turned to me and asked me what “my thing” was. I told I never really had a thing, so she asked what it would have been if someone would have cultivated it in me a little more. The first thing that came to mind was writing. I remember my teachers encouraging me when I was very young in that subject, however, when things at home starting to become more difficult, they were just happy if I turned in my homework, which didn’t happen all that often. She suggested that perhaps I could try writing again by simply sitting down and writing whatever came to mind. So here we are!!
A few weeks ago, I was talking to my therapist, Simone, about how few books seemed to be able dealing with sexual dysfunction among survivors of sexual assault. She pointed out that the awareness about sexual abuse alone is fairly recent. As we got talking she commented that I might be one of the people to write a book about it someday. This planted a seed. At the time I thought it would be something I work on far in the future, but as things progressed, I felt incredibly inspired to start sooner than that…today!
As I was driving home from therapy, a million ideas ran through my mind. I don’t what form this will take, but I’m just going to go with my gut. I plan on posting these things on here. If anyone is reading this, maybe they will provide some feedback! That’s all I have for today. Too distracted by this awesome playlist I made on iTunes. J
xkcd.com
I definitely agree that the consequences of sexual abuse on survivors - especially sexual dysfunction - are generally unknown.
ReplyDeleteMy sister watches the Tyra Show, and I thought I'd give it a try. The particular episode I saw was about sexual dysfunction (vaginismus - not sure of the spelling), and three couples were interviewed who had been struggling with it for years. Two of the couples had been married for over 5 years and still had not had any success, and their relationships were damaged. They didn't know where to go. Likewise, the audience was shocked that such a thing even existed. Completely shocked.
Only one couple had overcome it, and that was through what some may believe are extreme measures - several botox injections while under anesthetic, but it worked. It was something the other couples hadn't heard of, the audience hadn't heard of, and I haven't heard of - yet it worked.
This is something special and important that shouldn't be ignored anymore. People are longing for information and for comfort. It would be fantastic if you can be a part of it.
Vaginismus is even more hidden than sexual abuse! It really is heart breaking. I had no idea what was wrong with me when we got married. I had been worried because I couldn't use tampons before we were married. I tried to voice this concern to my mom, but her response was that it would all be fine - she had good intentions, but it didn't help. When we got back from our "honeymoon" I reached out to a couple friends that I knew were sexually active. One of them went straight to the internet and found some information on Vaginismus. I went to a gynecologist the next day, and she confirmed this. From there, I found www.vaginismus.com. It proved to be a great resource, complete with a forum where I could connect with others dealing with the same thing.
ReplyDeleteAaannndd...this has turned into a blog post. lol I'll have to write more about this later. I DID see that episode of Tyra though! I'm not a big fan of the show, but I did appreciate her bringing some awareness to this issue!