Do you remember "Show and Tell" in school? I think we had it in kindergarten. Each week, one student gets the chance to bring something in that they normally wouldn't bring to school, to show the class and tell us about it. This could be a pet, a loved one, a Barbie Hot Wheels car that everyone could drive around the parking lot (o yeah, that kid was popular that day), etc.
I LOVED Show and Tell. But then I loved attention as a kid too. And I'm still playing Show and Tell today, but in a different way.
When I meet someone new, and I've decided we're going to be friends (or I'd like them to be), I feel a deep need to tell them my story. I want them to know "who I really am". I don't think my past completely defines who I am, but it is a significant part of my life. My hobby is my blog, which is all about my past. My family relationships are affected by my past. It is a part of me. And I just want to be honest about who that is.
I'm loving my new job, and I love the people that I work closely with. I technically have 2 part-time jobs, which means I have 2 bosses. They are both awesome, but in different ways. I really feel like I have a growing friendship with another one of the girls that works in Activities as well. And now I'm at that point where I want to Show and Tell. I want them to know what makes me tick.
I think a large part of this is because everything was kept secret for so long that I still feel liberated by sharing it. I feel empowered. I have no secrets!!
Rachel
I totally get that. I'm like that about my kids (and how they came to be me mine alone) and sometimes I have to stop myself from over-sharing about my childhood.
ReplyDeleteAnd I totally agree that it has to do with the amount of secrecy that we had to deal with as kids.
I loved this post.
ReplyDeleteI totally got you and I feel the same way....like I had to keep such hard secrets that I never felt real, like I wasn't presenting myself in a real light, and now I can be real and show the true me. My only fear is whether or not people will love and accept me despite my struggles.
Thanks for bringing that into my awareness.
S
We all have those feelings to contend with. Surviving and flourishing makes us stronger.
ReplyDeleteYes, Shannon, you explain it perfectly! I used to worry more about whether or not people would accept me as well, and then I had a day where I decided that if someone didn't want to accept me, then that's fine. It's better to find out what that person is really like.
ReplyDelete(For the record, I have not had it be a problem so far.)
Teresa, Thanks for that! "Over-share" is another good word for it. I'm very aware of how much I share. I don't think I usually cross that line, but it's not for lack of monitoring it!
ReplyDelete