I'm sitting cross-legged on my bed right now. A storm has suddenly blown in, bringing with it a 20 degree temperature drop (which around here means its about 80). The room is dark except for the glow from my laptop screen. The only noise is the sound of my nails striking the keys and the storm. I can hear the wind blowing through the trees that line the road right outside my window. The branches sway, happy for a break from the sun and heat, as are we all. I can hear the aluminum siding on my apartment building creaking under the pressure of the wind. The rain is pattering down on the cars. The thunder echoes.
My first instinct when I got home from my brunch date this morning was to get into some comfy clothes and turn on the TV. Well, I did the first one, but something about this room in this storm felt so peaceful, I ignored the impulse. I take a deep breath and focus on the quiet. Even though there is a storm outside, this is abnormally quiet for me. Usually I at least have the TV on while flipping through multiple websites. Usually, this much quiet makes me twitch. I can't stand it...It's like I'm panicking that I'll be left alone with my thoughts. But after nearly a year of therapy and inner work, I'm suddenly discovering that it's not so scary. I still feel a bit of that impulse to turn on the TV, but I'm grateful for this moment.
It's a new sensation to just "be", and I suppose I'm cheating by blogging, but it's still progress.
Rachel
Rachel
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