Have you ever heard someone comment that high school was the best 4 years of their life? How did this ever get started?! For a long time, I thought I was the only person that disagreed with that because of everything I was dealing with. Eventually, I talked to other people who felt the same way.
I'm not saying all of high school is terrible. My teen years certainly had it's magical moments, but I just don't think it's all it's cracked up to be. You're growing up. You're anxious to be independent and to be treated like an adult. When you make the effort to behave as an adult, you are not treated with any respect. Some teens respond to this by acting out. Others manage to remain calm and show how truly mature they are.
Freshman year of high school, I was getting male attention for the first time. I was making friends with girls, as much as I could for only interacting at school anyway. I also had an eating disorder (read more about that here). I had my first boyfriend and he took advantage of me. I was more confident than I was in grade school, but still not feeling great.
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| This was the entire school my freshman year. I'm in the middle in the back. |
Over the next 3 years, the abuse was intensifying. At the same time, I got my first job. I was a hostess and then waitress at a local diner. I loved my job and the chance to get away from home. I also loved that I had my first serious boyfriend, Chris. I convinced myself that I loved him and we were "secretly" engaged by the time I was 17. "Secretly" meaning it had be hidden from my step-dad who wasn't even allowing me to date. This of course took its toll, among other things, and the relationship ended right before my 18th birthday.
Throughout this time, I did very little homework. I was going to school, working, taking care of my family and being kept up late at night with the abuse. While I've heard of people who were still able to be excellent students in these kinds of situations (and worse!), I did not have whatever it takes. I almost failed high school altogether. Had I been going to a large public school, I would have undoubtedly slipped through the cracks and probably never finished. For whatever reason, my mom never seemed too concerned with it, so I'm not sure she would have been pushing me forward too much.
However, I was fortunate enough to attend a brand new Lutheran High School. For whatever reason, my step-dad was opposed to sending me to a public school. Oddly enough it's probably the best thing he ever did for me that eventually led to his downfall and eventual imprisonment. The school was so small, I graduated in a class of 5 girls. I really should not have graduated at all, but I believe they didn't want to fail anyone in their very first graduating class. The principal and teachers gave me some work to do to try to bring up my grades just enough to squeak by.
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| The Graduates...all 5 of us! I'm in the middle again. |
But God knew what he was doing, as always.
Two weeks into my freshman year I met the love of my life. And he built me up and supported me in a way I didn't even know was possible. I found the courage to take ownership of my life. (Read more about THAT drama here.)
So that was my high school experience. How about yours? Do you think it was the best 4 years of you life?
Rachel
This is a great topic. I've also heard people say the same thing about college or, my personal pet peeve, their wedding day. Personally, I had lots of fun in high school. I also had lots of trauma and personal loss. The greatest 4 years of my life? Ha. I dropped out in the 11th grade to get married. That was 17 years ago. I'm still married to the same guy. I'm still hopelessly and madly in love with him. But was my wedding day the happiest day of my life? I'd be really sad if it was. Was the day my children were born the happiest day of my life? Again, I'd be really damn sad if it was. My personal belief is that the GOAL of life is to make today the best day of your life, to make this year the best year of your life, and to always looks toward tomorrow to be even better. If you look to your past and label anything as the "the best," then you're certainly not doing your present or your future any justice at all.
ReplyDeletei totally agree with what amiee is saying here, and with you, rachel.
ReplyDeletei treasure my high school memories. in many ways they were the most traumatic, the most frustrated and the most painful. but they also held my dearest friendships, my most mystified moments, some of my strongest experiences with God...
i find, working with high schoolers, that i want to make high school a beautiful experience for them. it's unlikely that it will be the most fun or the "best" time of their life, but i want them to look back and see what was meaningful-see how who they are is shaped by what they learned then.
i also 100% agree with aimee about making every day the best of your life. why limit the life God gave to have it's greatest moment happen when you've barely even started on your life?
Thank you for this, Rachel....High school was not the best time of my life. You have brought deep insight into this common misconception and I very much agree with you.
ReplyDeleteI have found that all parts of life have good in them if you look for it. I feel peace knowing that God is part of all of my life.
Shannon
Aimee, You make a great point! If "the best" was in the past, the present must not be too great!
ReplyDeleteSo many adults talk about wanting to go back to when they were younger. I can understand this when you are elderly and ill and things aren't working right, but beyond that, CARPE DIEM!
Beth, I think it's inspiring that you want to work with high schoolers like that. I think you have a great perspective that they will benefit from!
ReplyDeleteShannon,
ReplyDeleteYou're right. God is a part of all life. High school is no different than any other time. There will always be good and bad, sometimes better and sometimes worse.
Hope you're doing well! :-)