Fifty Shades

***SPOILER ALERT***

***IF YOU HAVE AN INTEREST IN READING THE FIFTY SHADES OF GREY TRILOGY, STOP READING HERE***

Book One

Still reading? Ok, you were warned! This past week, I started reading "Fifty Shades of Grey", the first installment in a new trilogy.  I'd heard about it in the media quite a bit over the past few months, about its juicy sexual content and it's popularity with women, earning it the nickname "Mommy Porn". I also have a co-worker who read and raved about it, so I was excited when the semester finished and I could finally dive in.

It did not disappoint. It's true - it is very, VERY sexually explicit. It's definitely not for everyone. But the book isn't pure sex. There's a lot, don't get me wrong, but there is a compelling story as well. The main character, Anastasia, is a virginal young woman, just graduating from college. Her roommate, who works for the school paper, has the flu and requests that Ana take her place in interviewing a CEO, Christian Grey, who is also the speaker at their upcoming commencement ceremony. Immediately, she is drawn to him, like a moth to the flame. Long story short, she is quickly caught up in his world of BDSM and lingering childhood issues. 

It takes two books to get to the bottom of these issues (the second of which I bought and finished in the last 24 hours), but the mystery is part of what keeps the reader turning the pages. Well, that and the heart pounding sex.

But I digress.

Grey's mother was a crack whore, whose pimp used Grey's chest as an ashtray. At age 4, the pimp found him at home with his mother who had been dead for 4 days. The doctor who examined him fell in love and adopted him. She and her husband provided a loving (and wealthy) upbringing for him. Fast forward to age 15: Grey is seduced by his mother's friend and introduced to the BDSM lifestyle. And it goes on for years. It is the only sexual experience he knows. Because of these experiences, he obviously has some deep seated issues.

When Grey meets Ana, he wants to change his ways, to face his demons for the first time in his life. Even though it is not easy for her, Ana loves Grey and tries her best to understand him while providing him with patience while still challenging him to move forward and grow.

And this is where I twist it back around to relate to me. The more I understood Grey, the more I could relate to him. His relationship with Ana reminded me, in many ways, of my relationship with Aaron. No, not the insanely kinky stuff, but rather Ana's patience for his issues. She gave him a reason to want to change, to consider that there is more; that he is worthy of love and that he can trust someone other than himself. This hits very close to home. Although I credit my therapist for guiding me through the darkness, Aaron was part of the reason I wanted to do that work and part of the reason it was possible. When I was at my absolute darkest and lowest, he was there, holding me and reassuring me. He encouraged me to continue the work, without making me feel "fifty shades" of screwed up. He's always shown me unconditional love. He's always respected me enough to allow me to grow and change, and allowing our relationship to grow and change as well.

If explicit sex makes you uncomfortable, pass on "Fifty Shades of Grey". If you don't mind it or *gasp!* enjoy it, then I think you may appreciate the story. Or maybe you don't care at all. That's cool too. My only point is that this unconventional love story caused me to reflect back on my own and on how far I've come, how many issues I've worked past. 

And I was happy with my conclusions.

Rachel

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