To the Victims of Sandusky

To the Victims of Sandusky,

I know you must feel an overwhelming amount of emotions tonight. Emotions that you don't even have names for, but also relief, validation, grief, sadness, anger, exhaustion or any combination of the above.

I know, because I've been there. It wasn't exactly the same, but I was sexually abused for years by my dad. I was an adult when I spoke out, and there was no physical evidence to back up my testimony. There was a very real chance that the jury would feel that there was enough reasonable doubt to not convict him.

But they did.

Getty Images

I remember sitting in the courtroom, and hearing "Guilty" 12 times, once for each count of criminal sexual conduct. I remember keeping my emotions in check while in the courtroom, as instructed, but collapsing into my boyfriend the moment we left the room.

Although I was completely overcome with emotion, there was a part of me that believed that everything would be ok now. After all, I had won, right?

And things were great at first. But any problems that I had as a result of the abuse (whether I recognized them at the time as such or not) did not just dissolve when my dad was put behind bars. And not only did they not go away, but some got worse, and then new ones popped up.

You've got most of this country rooting for you right now. They've been shocked by your testimony, and for many, their eyes have been opened the epidemic of child sexual abuse being faced in this country. They all want the best for you now. They want to see you succeed.

But take the time to heal. When you're ready, do the hard work of facing those demons brought on by this evil man. I hate to say it, but when you do that, you're going to find out very quickly who your real friends are. Because those are the ones who are going to stick around and support you. Not just while you seem ok on the outside, but when thing get really ugly. When you're feeling depressed or anxious and pull away, they will be there waiting. When it takes a few years to deal with some things, and then you discover other issues that need to be dealt with, they will recognize this reality.

Please, whatever you do, be kind to yourself, and take care of yourself. And realize that what you did was incredibly brave, whether or not you feel like it. Speaking up about sexual abuse is difficult for anyone, but often even more so for men. You are brightening a path for so many others who have not been able to find their voice yet. 

And just as importantly, you are helping open the eyes of a society that doesn't want to recognize the prevalence of child sexual abuse or the implications. Parents and organizations are taking a look at the policies they have in place to protect children. Adults are listening to children and paying more attention. They have a new awareness.

And you helped do that. 

Thank you. I wish you all the best that this life can offer. Even though you'll probably never see this, I'll be praying for you, as well as all the unknown victims.

Love,

Rachel

Be a Fan