I Am a Four

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to attend a seminar on dealing with "Toxic People". It was somewhat targeted towards healthcare professionals, however, the information was invaluable for anyone. I could write a whole blog post on this topic alone, however, it is not all relevant. But, there were some things that the speaker, Dr. Paula Butterfield, touched on that were incredibly personally relevant to mua. One of those points was that we are unable to change these toxic people that come into our lives in one way or another, but we can change how we respond to them to diffuse the situation. Something that can be beneficial in this is more fully understanding yourself and the perspectives you bring to the situation. Dr. Butterfield suggested taking the Enneagram Test to learn about ourselves and then to use that information to build on our strengths. 

Always willing to take any kind of personality assessment, I dove in (and paid the $10 to do it) and took the test as soon as I got home. Based on the questions that were asked, I was shocked by how accurate and thorough my results were. Taken aback even. But the great thing about how thorough it was is that it included the dark sides. I've taken tests in the past such as the Meyer-Briggs (Jung Typology), but those results seemed to focus only the most positive aspects of the personality. (I'm an INFJ for those that are curious.) While I don't disagree with those results, the Enneagram helped me take a really honest look at myself. I wasn't thrilled with everything I saw, but it was all accurate. In this test, my personality type is a Four, or the Individualist, again, for those that may be curious.

free enneagram test

So what does that mean? Some of the key points are as follows:

• I long to be unique/special and to be recognized for it
• I want to fit in with a crowd with a glamorous lifestyle
• I have a secret fantasy self that I will never be able to live up to
• Understanding the very depths of my heart is important
• I can be moody/sullen
• I sometimes indulge in negative feelings because these feel honest and authentic
• And the list goes on...

Ok, so of what use is this information? In a word, GROWTH! I've stumbled across this at the perfect time in my healing journey because I have already started to recognize some of these things within myself. As I've shared before, I'm at a turning point. I'm working on moving past being a victim and integrating that "part" of myself into a whole self that is so much more. A "healthy" Four recognizes the bad habits, gives up the fantasy self and learns to live more practically in the real world. This is all part of what I need to do. 

Oversimplified, but I think you get it.

This is all actually connected to another point brought up at the seminar. For a long time, a great deal of psychological research was based on pathology, or what is wrong. Therapists were most interested in helping their clients reach a functional baseline, rather than helping the reach their potential. Eventually, there was a shift towards the study of positive psychology. Think of it this way: How we can help people reach overall wellness, if we only understand what is wrong? Shouldn't there be any understand of what is healthy and good? This really inspired me. Up until now, my blog has largely been a place for me to explore a wide range of emotions and issues based on my past. While that will not be completely abandoned, I feel like my blog also needs to reflect where I am now. My path is now much brighter than it was when I began, and I desperately hope there is a reader out there somewhere who has been inspired to brighten his or her own path along the way. That being said, I hope to incorporate more positive psychology. I want to share more inspiration, whether it be music, poetry, art, new research, or, of course, my own observations. I don't know exactly what that's going to look like yet, but I'm excited about the possibilities! And this semester is almost over, so I'm hoping that between having more time and a renewed vision, I will be more active on here yet again.

The third and final part of this post is a little piece of news that some of you who follow the Brighten the Path Facebook Page already know about. I have been asked to speak at an Annual Crime Victim's Breakfast in Missouri in April. I am so very excited to have this new opportunity. I have always wanted to try my hand at public speaking, and this is my first chance. It is terrifying, humbling and exciting! Not to mention nerve wracking!

And that's where I am right now. Progress has been slow the past several months, but I'm getting there! It feels good to be excited about my progress again.

P.S. - Just want to say sorry again to Simone for spilling my Diet Cherry Coke all over her rug at the end of my therapy session yesterday!! It looks like no damage was done, but it was NOT my smoothest moment!!

Have a great rest of the week!

Rachel

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