2011: Goals and Expectations

O boy. Where to begin?!

First off, I'm not big on New Year's Resolutions. They're made to be broken. That being said, these are NOT resolutions. They are overall goals for the year. That means if I fail miserably in January, I'll just get back on it in February. If I don't reach my goal by July, well then I'll still have 6 more months to get it right.

Also, they are a good mix of high and low priority goals, just to keep things interesting. :-)

Because I love lists, here are my goals, list style:

 #1: Find peace in my relationship with my immediate family members. This doesn't mean we will all be holding hands singing about love and butterflies by next Christmas, but rather I will be satisfied that I have done my part and I will be able to accept them as they are.

 #2: Find a good skincare routine, and not for my face! Last year, thanks to Avon, I was able to find a skincare regimen for my face and my skin has never been the same (in a good way!). However, it always stopped at my neck, but the rest of my skin is desperate for moisture as well, thanks in part to my fondness for scalding hot showers and bubble baths.

 #3: Become a better student. That's a whole other post that I've been putting off, so I will save that for another day.

 #4: Be a better wife to Studdly Hubby. I'm not saying I'm a total failure, but I think there is always room for improvement in any marriage. THEREFORE, I will be more aware of his specific needs, be a little less selfish (ok, maybe a lot more less), and continuing to work on Vaginismus. I think both of us will be happier.

 #5: Find a more nutritional, affordable diet. Aaron and I both need more fruits and veggies in our diet. I'm hoping that with a little time and effort I can find a way to make this happen. Personally, I could live off of fruit trays, but that can get a little expensive! Part 2 of this requires eating out less, but...one thing at a time. :-P

 #6: Manage our money better. This includes creating a realistic budget and sticking to it while saving money.

 #7: Be a better housekeeper! SERIOUSLY! I enjoy my home much more when it is clean and clutter-free. Honestly, I can do better.

 #8: Learn to do one thing at a time. Without distraction. I know it doesn't sound like much to the average person, but trust me, this would be a whole new level of calm in my life.

 #9: Go back to church. This was my resolution last year as well, and it didn't work out so well. I went a few times, but never made it a habit. This is something that has to change. Part 2 of this one would be to remember to pray. I don't do it nearly often enough.

#10: Number 10 is leaving room to grow. I don't know how therapy is going to go, but I'm promising myself that I will stay open minded and willing to grow and learn. I also promise to forgive myself for not completely numbers 1-9 perfectly but I will try.

Ready to write this chapter of my life!

So there you have it. I am feeling very excited to start the new year fresh. I went grocery shopping tonight and bought healthier foods. I cleaned the apartment. I've reevaluated our budget and come up with a plan to help me stick to it. I'm getting things ready for next semester. I bought our "Love Languages Jars". I still have a couple other things to get aligned, but I'll get to them.

What about you? What are your goals for 2011? Do you have any tips that go with any of these 10? I would love to hear them!

Rachel

What have I gained?

I found this when I was looking for an inspirational wallpaper for my desktop. I thought it was perfect! I've spent a lot of time talking about what I have been without in the past. Saying we didn't have much money when I was growing up is an understatement. Because of this, my sisters and I went without. We went without new clothes, fashionable clothes and appropriately fitting clothes. We went without experiences like Disney World, Cedar Point, etc. The list of things like that could go on and on. The thing I think I missed the most was having a loving father. I yearn to be a daddy's girl. I try to remember that God is my heavenly father and he loves me more than anyone on earth can, but I am only human. I still long for that. I want to find my biological father so badly, but I don't even know if the little information I have is true. My mom has said his name is Jesse Patrickson. She met him when she was working at Fermi. He was a contractor, or contract employee (I don't know if there is a difference). She said he was tall and good-looking; a blue-eyed blonde. He may or may not have said he had family in Pennsylvania. She said they went out on one date. She had been drinking and they went back to her (?) apartment where he forced himself on her. She said she was too intoxicated to do much about it. When she told me about this, she didn't seem to realize she was raped, or maybe didn't want to. It was the 80s after all...I don't know if the term "date rape" was even being used. She said it wasn't long before she found out she was pregnant. She remembered crying in the doctor's office. When she confronted "Jesse", he offered to pay for the abortion, which mom obviously declined. After that he left town and couldn't even be found by the courts when she tried to pursue child support. Maybe the story is 100% factual. But in this time of the digital age, it seems unlikely that I can't find anyone with that name and approximate age. 

There is a chance that I would be disappointed if I were to meet him. But on the other hand, it would be amazing to meet someone who looked like me; who shared some of my personality traits and quirks. Would he be like me at all? I want to know so badly. Do I have other brothers and sisters? Do any of them look like me? Don't get me wrong, my sisters are my sisters. I don't care if they have a different biological father. We all grew up together, not knowing any different. I'm just curious who else is out there. If you're reading this and you have any advice at all, please, share with me!

I have gotten completely off the point. lol So, I'm wondering what I gained. I'm not saying that I think I didn't gain anything. I'm just contemplating what it might be.