To the Victims of Sandusky

To the Victims of Sandusky,

I know you must feel an overwhelming amount of emotions tonight. Emotions that you don't even have names for, but also relief, validation, grief, sadness, anger, exhaustion or any combination of the above.

I know, because I've been there. It wasn't exactly the same, but I was sexually abused for years by my dad. I was an adult when I spoke out, and there was no physical evidence to back up my testimony. There was a very real chance that the jury would feel that there was enough reasonable doubt to not convict him.

But they did.

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I remember sitting in the courtroom, and hearing "Guilty" 12 times, once for each count of criminal sexual conduct. I remember keeping my emotions in check while in the courtroom, as instructed, but collapsing into my boyfriend the moment we left the room.

Although I was completely overcome with emotion, there was a part of me that believed that everything would be ok now. After all, I had won, right?

And things were great at first. But any problems that I had as a result of the abuse (whether I recognized them at the time as such or not) did not just dissolve when my dad was put behind bars. And not only did they not go away, but some got worse, and then new ones popped up.

You've got most of this country rooting for you right now. They've been shocked by your testimony, and for many, their eyes have been opened the epidemic of child sexual abuse being faced in this country. They all want the best for you now. They want to see you succeed.

But take the time to heal. When you're ready, do the hard work of facing those demons brought on by this evil man. I hate to say it, but when you do that, you're going to find out very quickly who your real friends are. Because those are the ones who are going to stick around and support you. Not just while you seem ok on the outside, but when thing get really ugly. When you're feeling depressed or anxious and pull away, they will be there waiting. When it takes a few years to deal with some things, and then you discover other issues that need to be dealt with, they will recognize this reality.

Please, whatever you do, be kind to yourself, and take care of yourself. And realize that what you did was incredibly brave, whether or not you feel like it. Speaking up about sexual abuse is difficult for anyone, but often even more so for men. You are brightening a path for so many others who have not been able to find their voice yet. 

And just as importantly, you are helping open the eyes of a society that doesn't want to recognize the prevalence of child sexual abuse or the implications. Parents and organizations are taking a look at the policies they have in place to protect children. Adults are listening to children and paying more attention. They have a new awareness.

And you helped do that. 

Thank you. I wish you all the best that this life can offer. Even though you'll probably never see this, I'll be praying for you, as well as all the unknown victims.

Love,

Rachel

Child Sexual Abuse Epidemic Video

Hi all! I know I've been really quiet lately, but it's because I have been hard at work. Today, I presented my senior project at Concordia University, a crucial step towards graduating. Below is the Power Point I had with my display board. I plan on getting all of the information up on here soon, so stay tuned! In the meanwhile, I'd appreciate it you would watch and share this video.

*EDIT* Sorry guys, I just realized this is extremely low quality. I'm trying to find a way to fix it and will replace it when I figure it out!! Sorry!

Link for the :Stewards of Children" training: Click here

Thanks!

Rachel

Riled Up/Call for Change

Have you seen that video yet about the 16-year old girl that secretly taped her father beating her with a belt for 8 minutes? Me neither. Actually, I watched the first 30 seconds. I couldn't make myself go on. But here's an article that will fill you in on the details: click here. And it's not just the beating that's horrifying, but him screaming at her that he's going to beat her "into submission" and her mother telling her to turn over and take it like a woman. Yeah. She said that. Oh, and did I mention that he's a judge that has ruled in child abuse cases? And that the girl is now 23 and there is only a 5 year statute of limitations on child abuse cases?

I don't know why this particular story has me so mad, but I AM STEAMED. It's probably a combination of things, but that's not where I'm going with this. I'm not just mad at this idiot. I'm mad at ALL the idiots. Men (and women) are getting away with this everyday. And so many think they can get away with it or that there's nothing wrong with it. There is some discussion in the article about the fine line between discipline and abuse. Well, let me help clear it up.

THIS WAS WRONG. THIS WAS ABUSE.

I don't give two shits about the people belly-aching that child abuse laws are too strict, or that they're afraid to discipline their children. If you use half a brain, you'll be fine!! What's more I don't care who this offends anymore. I'm sick of the ignorance. Both people being ignorant about the effects of abuse and thinking that they are entitled to handing out this kind of degrading punishment and the people who just don't seem to care, even if they don't abuse their children.

We have to work together!

Survivors of any kind of abuse, I'm begging you to find your voice. Speak up. We have to do something to help the next generation and the generation after that. I know I'm asking a lot. I know a lot of you have never told anyone what you've been through. I know a lot of you have "dealt with it" and don't see any reason to revisit your past in anyway. I get that. I really do.  But look into the eyes of a child. There's your reason. 

Can you imagine the impact if every man and woman who was abused as a child stood up and shared their story? What if we all worked together for harsher sentences for child abuses? What if we worked together to prevent child abuse? What if we worked together to educate our communities on how they can prevent child abuse and what signs to look for in children that may be being abused?

Please, help me help our future children. There are a lot of good people and organizations out there that you can get involved with. Volunteer for them. Donate money to keep nonprofits running. Be open and honest about your story. And seek help for yourself.

I'm sorry for the angry tone of this post, but I'm not sorry for anything I said in it. Something has got to give. If you have any ideas on how we can get a lot of people to have their voice heard all across the country to really get something started, by all means, let me know. I'm not saying I have the answers, but I do see some problems.

Thank you.
Rachel